Thursday, June 28, 2007

I Feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills

When Jake worked at T-Mobile at the kiosk in the Draper Walmart he was always texting me pictures of hilarious/freaky people that he saw while sitting there. That gave me an idea to create a website called where you can post pictures of all the wierd & funny stuff you see every day. (Of course I never created a website like that because I got bored with the idea after about 20 seconds). It could have been pretty amusing though, similar to RateMyMullet only instead of exclusively mullets it might feature any nasty/funny thing you saw that day: shoulder hair, camel toe, goiters, etc.
I've been seeing some bizarre stuff this week, perfect for it existed.
St. Louis is home to Anheuser Busch and St. Louisans love them some beer. On Monday, the marquee at the gas station read, "THIRSTY! Family Pack Bud $15.99" so apparently beer is for families now. My next door neighboor is a nun--yes a nun--the other day she came home from the grocery store with a massive case of Bud Light.
Then, on my way to work, I followed a car that was all covered in shaving cream and condoms, trailing cans behind it. The back window said, "Just Divorced!!"
And then there's Ninja. I know it's wierd and a little sad to write about your cat in a blog post, but here it is: Ninja is a junk food junkie. If I try to give her tuna or chicken she looks at me like I've lost my mind. But last night I opened a bag of Funyuns and next thing I know her head is buried 6 inches in the bag, just a big furry cat-butt sticking out. real nice. Apparently, after all the Funyuns she felt the need to freshen her breath because when I walked into the dining room today I found a pack of gum utterly destroyed, bits of half-chewed gum still in the wrapper all over the table. (She also has a similar fetish for chocolate, toothpaste and flowers).
At least she didn't get drunk and pass out like that time Mooshie (aka Smash, Smasher, Big Kitty, etc.) OD'd on catnip. I still wish I could have been there to see that. That would definitely be the top-rated video on
That reminds me--do you think you could Overnight FedEx me one of Milkshake's kittens? Or send it with Jake and Marz. There is nothing like the experience of driving half-way across the country with a psycho cat.


Mother Teresa said...

I have a better idea! How about if I bring one to you when they are old enough to leave their mother ( 6 wks). If I sent one with Jk & Marce, I'd have to send them still inside Milkshake, or cut them out and that would be totally gross. Speaking of which, Moshie has been stalking the nest of mockingbirds in the peach tree out back, which has really upset them. So now if I try to go out and pick a peach or 2, I get dive bombed by Mr & Mrs Bird. They get real aggressive too, they pretty much fly low to your head and kick you as they go over. Ask Josh! Unfortunately, someone(?) broke the nest apart and a couple of little tikes fell out, which lead to Adam stepping on one while mowing the lawn. I'm guessing the next pass lead to 'missing evidence'. You know, no bodies, no crime.

Jaci said...

I think you should include "look what I saw" as a side note to our blog. I was at the stadium of fire last night, and the zoo today and I saw some disturbing things... the most memorable being today at the zoo, the hard core "Harley Davidson-looking" thug wearing a pleated, black denim skirt with strange "OCC-like" markings on it that told me he probably hadnt just mugged a cheerleader. My boys kept yelling "that man is wearing a dress!...did you see that guy wearing a dress?Is that a man-skirt?why is he wearing that?" (it was reminiscent of tanner pointing out the midget's enourmous butt at albertson's)I explained that in this hot weather sometimes you've got to give the "equipment" some fresh air. The fact that he was all tatooed and muscley gave me a great mental picture of him going down the highway on his harley wearing that skirt... I wonder at what speed does "airing the jewels" become painful?
by the way I found the maker of said skirts, if you are interested: oh and dad you definitely have to check out the one called "workman" it has a place for your hammer and tape measure! who wouldda thunk?!