Monday, May 19, 2008

My own little Adrian


There are countless ways that I can compare Tanner to Mr. Monk here....
He REALLY hates germs... well not all germs, just other people's germs.
Don't touch his stuff, his food, his hair, his clothes. Don't even dare to drink out of his cup.
He collects the most bizarre things... the tops of pencils, bits of string, broken army guys, rubberbands, scraps of paper and candy wrappers... remember this?
He gets upset when I throw anything away. Things have to be "just-so" or he may just have a spaz.
He also seems to have some unspoken rules about what we can talk to him about & what we can tease him about (I still dont know exactly what the rules are)
If we tease him about the wrong thing he gets pretty vicious with his paybacks.
I guess that my whole point is that we have taken to calling him "Adrian" whenever he is acting obsessive. Phrases like "calm down Adrian" or "okay, Adrian..." are often heard at my house.
And really this is just a really long back story to this latest entry for one-liner academy considerations........
Jaci talking to Rob about some random happening of which I cant recall: "I can't believe that because Tanner is so anal."
Tanner (who was obviously eaves dropping) screams: "There is NOTHING wrong with my butt!"
Another priceless Tanner moment was on Friday when poor Tanner had to go to the Maturation class at school. He was adamant that he WOULD NOT be attending this stupid thing. Its gross. He already knows all that stuff. No one else is going. Its dumb. And oh yeah, did I mention that it is stupid?
Why is it so stupid tanner? What are they going to talk about?
Stuff I already know about.
Okay well, what's a wiener for?
Peeing
What else?
Something really disgusting!
He really only had one option for this class... do you want to take mom or dad? For two days he wailed and gnashed his teeth about going and 20 minutes before the class we were still arguing about it. Finally I informed him that he could either go and listen to a doctor tell him about his body or I would sit down and draw him some pictures or strip him down and use a laser pointer to tell him about his body. Needless to say he went. With Rob. But he wasn't happy about it. The doc said that he would only be using the "proper" terms for things...so the P word was said quite a lot... and rob said that every time there was a lot of giggling. During the slide show with the cross section of the P-word, Tanner was slumped down in his chair, staring at the floor. And the only time Tanner spoke was when the doctor told them that they would be growing some hair and asked for someone to tell him where.... Tanner piped up with " Arm pits, chest..." and after giving Rob a sly look "And back!" Rob took this as a personal attack....just a little pay back from Tan for making him go.
Things are never dull around here and funny stuff is always going on, I just forget to write them down so I can share them with you.
Here are a few conversations I've overheard recently at schrammland.

Alex: Lets go to my house
Tait: no. I dont like playing at your house!
Alex: why?
Tait: Its too messy
Alex: no, we cleaned it.
Tait: Are you moving?

in my car on the way home from school there were two girls crossing the street in front of us one was a midget....
Tayler: Hey look!!! a midget!!!
(all the kids in my car stand up and stare out the window... oohing and aaahing)
then, Nick: Whoa! how'd she get friends?

Yesterday after cutting Tanner's hair:
Me: hey Tan, before you get in the shower ask dad if he wants a haircut too.
Tanner: Hey DAD... mom wants to know if you want your minuscule hairs cut!
then he ran away and slammed the bathroom door...
a few minutes later I here Tanner yell : Hey turn the light back on!
Rob: why?can't you wash your teeny teeny weeny in the dark?

4 comments:

Jake&marci said...

complete and total awesomeness. you should make a movie. also good job at getting that lame song off the front page

Jake&marci said...

yeah, thats pretty funny. Our house is just boring I guess.

Mother Teresa said...

Where did these kids come from? I'm also not sure where their parents came from. Janet really likes and relates to Monk, and Dad has gotten so that he watches him too. I've tried to watch him a few times, but he really makes me nervous/antsy. errrrggghhh. But tell Tanner I still love him, he just reminds me of Adam . . . . just more so.

angerine said...

Sounds like Rob is as a big a trouble-maker as the rest of them! :)